11 Ways to Listen to your Kids

With so much going on, it’s almost a requirement that today’s parents develop the ability to multitask. Moms especially fall into the trap of too much to do and not enough time. We supervise homework while cooking dinner, dashing off every so often to throw in a load of laundry or take a phone call. While it may seem productive to handle multiple tasks at one time, there is a down side to slicing up your attention like a pepperoni pizza.

One skill that is compromised by multitasking is listening. It’s easy to miss a reminder that tomorrow is a field trip or that you child needs lunch money. It’s even easier to hurt feelings and trigger negative behavior by not giving your child a bit of undivided attention. Listening tells the other person that he is important, that what he has to say matters and can clue the listener in to nonverbal signals. A child who feels ignored may act out to grab your attention, as well as developing poor listening habits himself.

Becoming a good listener takes time and practice. It also takes self-discipline. But the pay-offs are worth the effort. Not only will you avoid miscommunication, but your child will improve his own communication skills by seeing the example you set.

Here are 11 tips to become a better listener:

*  Help your child find the right words to describe his feelings and emotions.

*  Pay attention to what is being said.

*  Ask questions to better understand what your child is trying to express.

*  Don’t rush your child or act impatient.

*  Give yourself time to absorb the conversation before immediately reacting.

*  Be honest about your own feelings.

*  Give a clear answer, such as yes or no. Vague answers may confuse or misled children.

*  Make time for the conversation in a place free of distractions.

*  Don’t interrupt.

*  Get down to your child’s level and make eye contact.

*  Use non-verbal skills, like a smile or head nod, to show you are paying attention.

Children don’t always know how to express themselves, so they need parents who are willing to listen for their spoken — and unspoken — messages. Make time to hear what your child has to say, and undoubtedly it won’t be long before you hear the best words of all: “I love you!”

by Maria Connor