The Reality of Being a Stay at Home Mom

Becoming a stay at home mom was a big adjustment for me. I enjoyed my job and although I was thrilled to have the opportunity to stay home with my son, I knew I would miss the daily interaction at work. This morning, after waking up at 6:30 to rush through the household tasks before a busy day, I sat down for a few minutes to read the comics from the Sunday newspaper. It’s Thursday, and the paper has been sitting on my kitchen counter all week because this is the first real opportunity I’ve had to do anything more that clip coupons from it.

There are several comic strips that I enjoy, but one of my usual favorites this week left me thinking long after I finished reading it. In the comic strip, a working mom comes home early on a Friday to hang out with the stay at home moms in the neighborhood. She is understandably tired after a long week of work but as soon as she says hi to the stay at home moms she is bombarded by homemade cookies and told that her kids are happily occupied in one of the mom’s backyard. The moms sit down for a relaxing night filled with food and movies. When the working mom appears shocked by how easy the stay at home moms have it they laugh and say “it’s been a while since you relaxed hasn’t it?”, implying that the homemade treats, happy kids, and laid back time with friends was a common occurrence for them.

Being a working mom was physically exhausting for me and I only had to do it for 6 months so I have so much respect for moms who are able to thrive while putting in hours at two full time jobs, one at work and one at home, but being a stay at home mom has never been a vacation. I wouldn’t trade the time I have with my kids for anything in the world, but just like anything else in life, being a stay at home mom is a juggling act. There are nights when I get 2-3 hours of sleep because I’ve been up with a sick toddler or teething baby but being a mom is a 24 hour a day job so when the day starts, it’s my job to be awake and alert and ready to take care of my kids. Usually when I have time to make homemade cookies it’s because there is some kind of event I have to bring something to or it’s simply due to the fact that homemade treats are cheaper and life one one income doesn’t always allow the the perks of convenience foods. When did being a mom go from the most valued position in society to something you do if you are too lazy or pampered to go to work?

Sometimes I wonder how much of my stress I put on myself. There’s a lot of talk about over scheduling kids but what about over scheduling moms? In today’s world we are conditioned to go, go, go. The more urgent and financially or personally rewarding tasks are generally valued over the day to day tasks of mothering. Being a stay at home mom requires you to structure your own time. It’s very easy to quickly fill the hours of the day with appointments, tasks, and projects. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that sometimes being a good mom is leaving the dishes in the sink and finger painting with the kids in the backyard.

Maybe the world would be a better place if there was more time for homemade cookies and chilling with friends. Appearances are not everything, especially when you work in a job with very few immediately tangible results. The daily acts of mothering are hard to check off of a to-do list.