Busy Mommy Media » Balancing Work and Family

Summer Care Options for Kids

Kelly — Sat, 22 May 2010 18:09:20 +0000

The kids are out of school but you are still in work. Just when we start to think we have everything, or almost everything, under control we hit a speed bump in the road called “summer break”. It took several months but I felt like I was handling the juggling of carpools, activities, play dates and work but then the school calendar came to an end.

It would be great to be able to say, “I’ll take my summer break too,” but in reality that is not an option for most of us. Gone are the days of working for fun or doing what you love, for most us now work is a necessity that we can not take a summer break from.

Is there a guide somewhere to help us cope with finding an affordable and interesting place for our children to go while school is out for summer? All I can say is plan ahead. Start formulating a plan and begin with a budget when you start thinking about this. Here are some options that my family has thought of to prepare for this summer daycare options.

Family

Think about family members that might already be staying home with kids or who have time off during the summer. It never hurts to ask and although many of us are too proud to do so there are relatives out there that would love to spend time with your children that they might not normally get to. Think of your children’s grandparents or aunts and uncles that might be options or even older cousins.

Neighbors or Friends

Think about your children’s friends or possible neighbors that can help during the summer. You could trade off by watching their kids for a weekend away or date nights as needed.

Day Camp

Go to your local parenting magazine or park and recreational group. There are many programs out there that are traditional summer camp themes or more specific like martial arts, soccer or drama camps. These can be very popular so early registration is definitely recommended.

Daycare

If you have one child currently in daycare and one that is getting out of school, enrolling the older child in daycare might be a good option for you. Many daycares are trying to offer summer programs for school age children to accommodate families. Ask your daycare about summer field trips or activities and enrichment programs.

Combined Options

Selecting a few of each of the above could sound like a headache but you child would have different experiences and can also be a cost effective plan by mixing it up.

I have asked other moms during previous summer breaks how is it going and the common response is, “I can’t wait for school to start up again.” Whatever option you decide, take a deep breath and know that summer will end as it also began and then school will start again. Once fall arrives, the daily grind will start all over again with juggling school and work instead of summer break and work.

Tips to Avoid Over Scheduling

Becky — Tue, 11 May 2010 22:41:30 +0000

Do you find yourself spending more time hustling your children out the front door than you spend enjoying your time together at home? You are not alone. In today’s world, there are so many worthy causes pressing for our time that it becomes very easy to over-commit ourselves with responsibilities and activities. However, when we over schedule ourselves and our children we are not teaching them how to recognize their own limits and prioritize their time.

The Benefits of Scheduling Less

You will have more time to spend one-on-one time with your children.
You can spend more time providing your family with a fresh, homemade dinner. You can eat it while sitting down at the table together rather than grabbing a quick sandwich as you load up the car.
You will have more time to perform better at the responsibilities you choose to keep.
Downtime. A popular buzz word today, but it is true. We all need time to sit down, relax and enjoy some time doing something that lifts our spirits and rejuvenates our souls.

Think of other benefits unique to your family and write them down so you’ll remember just why you need to say no to one more activity.

Reduce Your Outside Commitments

While it is important to complete the task or responsibility you committed to doing, you can excuse yourself. Any respectable organization will admire and respect your decision to put your family first. Recognize your limitations, decide what you can still do and excuse yourself from the responsibilities that you can not fit into your new schedule. You do not have to explain further than “My family needs more of my time.” You may provide a more in depth explanation if you want, but do not feel obligated to do so. If your schedule later opens up and you want to return, you can do that, too.

Involve Your Children

Involve your children as you learn to schedule less. Talk to them about your reasons for excusing yourself from various activities. Role play with them to help all of you to grow more comfortable with saying no to new responsibilities and activities when they do not fit in your schedules. When your child comes to you with another activity she wants to do, walk her through the steps of determining what will have to go if she takes on a new activity. Also, take a look at what it will require from you to help him keep his commitment.

Send the Right Message

Each time you put your family ahead of outside obligations, you are telling your children that they are very important people in your life. That knowledge will go a long way in helping them to feel confident and secure in your love and create a bond between you that will help you all through the rough times that do come from time to time in parenting. As you help your children to learn how to recognize they abilities & limitations, problem solve, prioritize their time and put family first, you are helping them to become a healthy and successful adults.

Photo credit: ppdigital @ morgueFile

Challenges of Working from Home

Guest Writer — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 19:15:40 +0000

Though I love my life as a work at home mom, life isn’t all those proverbial roses. Instead I sometimes find that I have to struggle to remind myself why I don’t need to check the classifieds. So before you take the plunge, be sure you have a clear idea of what you’re getting into. Don’t just think about the fun days in your pjs and the super-short commute; give these downsides a bit of consideration, too.

Everything Under One Roof

Everything happens under one roof when you’re working from home. You live and work there. Many moms also school their children in the home. Plus much of your day-to-day social life happens there. Whether you Twitter, visit forums, or talk to friends on the phone, chances are that you’re spending your “water cooler” time in your house, too. Having so much happening at once can be challenging because it’s easy for one part of your life to overcrowd the others.

Laundry Still Piles Up

If you’re not good at keeping up with the laundry at an office job, you’ll have the same problem as a work at home mom. Your problems won’t go away simply because you’re working from home. Some moms get an hour or two of “extra” time in the day because they’re no longer commuting, but much of that is eaten up by the fact that you’re in your house all day. The paper you crumple, the dishes you dirty, the soft drink you enjoy all add to the mess of daily living, so don’t expect a boom in time to keep house.

Errands Become Yours

My husband stands out in that he’s very involved in the administration of our family. We’re firm believers in equal roles in domestic tasks, but even he slipped when I started working from home. He’d call to ask if I could pick up his prescriptions or to say that he forgot to send out the doctor’s bill. Would I be able to get it together and do it? Those little interruptions add up, and it’s been a struggle to balance domestic work with professional work now that I’m at home. Sometimes being home is just too convenient for others to ignore.

Since I still work from home, you can bet these downsides aren’t enough to make me look for an office job. They still affect my life, though, and I really wish I’d known about them – and how to handle them – before I started working from my home office.

By Brandi Rhoades

Alternative Childcare Options

Guest Writer — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:59:41 +0000

Working from home with your children at your feet seems like the ideal solution. While it often is, that doesn’t mean working from home with children is without its problems. Children want our attention. They need juice. They have a bad day. Chances are that at some point, you may need to consider alternative arrangements to help you get some work done. Test out these ideas for ways to work at home with children.

Mother’s Helper

“Mother’s helper” refers to a young teen who is responsible basically for making sure your children are occupied. These (usually) girls will help play with small children and can handle tasks such as getting the children a drink. The benefit is that they accept lower pay than a babysitter, but that means you will handle bigger tasks, such as cleaning up messes and changing diapers.

Babysitter

Babysitters are another option. My family has a sitter who is more like a part-time nanny for us. She’s a dependable college student who stays with my children a few hours three days a week. This type of arrangement works well if you’re hiring someone in high school or college. The pay is higher than for a mother’s helper, but you’ll get someone who will care for the children as if you weren’t there. Sometimes just a few hours a week is enough to keep your business moving.

Children’s Activities

Putting older preschoolers or elementary-aged kids into activities can be a great way to get a little time to work by yourself. For preschool children, check out mother’s morning out programs. They typically run only 2 days a week for a couple of hours. Also look into local recreation department opportunities. You may find something your children can do one morning a week to give you time to work.

Relatives

Never underestimate the willingness of Grandma to take a child for a certain afternoon a week. While many of today’s grandparents don’t want full-time babysitting duties, they’ll often help out on a part-time or short-term basis.

Babysitting Swap

An exchange of babysitting with another mom who works from home or stays at home is an excellent way to get time to work without your children present. In these arrangements, you and another mom or dad would switch babysitting times so that you’d have extra kids for one afternoon and be alone for one afternoon. These arrangements give your children other children to play with and give you a good relationship to rely on.

Whatever arrangement you choose, don’t be afraid to get childcare help if you need it. While some moms can work from home without needing a break, others find that too difficult with their work or their children’s temperament. Do what works for your family and be proud you have the option to choose!

By Brandi Rhoades

Five Principles of Work at Home Scheduling

Guest Writer — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:56:15 +0000

Working from home can challenge even the most efficient time managers. Use these guidelines to help you get a handle on your workload and home life.

A poster on a forum I frequently recently posed this question: what does your work at home schedule look like?

Though the answers varied from mom to mom, a few constants remained among their responses. In four years as a work at home mom, I have found these constants to be the truths of working from home.

Remember Your Purpose

Moms who work from home typically are making sacrifices to do so. We face higher taxes, less regular hours, and scrutiny from people who don’t understand the choice. Why do we so willingly enter into this situation? For most of us, we wanted to keep our children out of daycares and have them in a home environment all day. Remembering to spend some time with them to nurture who they are and enjoy the stages of childhood is necessary on bad days and good. Time dedicated to your children also helps your focus during work hours.

Make Work a Priority

If you work “when you get to it,” meaning when everyone’s fed, in clean clothes, and happy, you likely won’t get much work done. Setting aside time daily that fits into your family’s schedule is the best way to make sure you have time to complete projects and expand as your work at home vision changes.

Set Goals

A goal for the work at home mom may be financial. Many women need to earn a certain amount to keep the household afloat. When I first started working from home, I faced that situation. As our finances improved, I found without other goals, I floundered. Setting goals may be completing a certain number of articles for writers or setting up a certain number of shows for crafters. Long-term and short-term goals are essential to keeping you on track and give you the evaluation you don’t get from an employer.

Be Flexible

Regardless of the situation, most moms find themselves with some child crisis interfering with work needs. Work at home moms face this issue in abundance. You probably will be the person to nurse sick children and to do much of the family planning and organizing. That means you need flexibility in when and where you work. When my son was chronically ill, we spent at least one day a week for 18 months at a doctor’s office. It was brutal on our lives, but by the time we got a diagnosis, the staff at the office knew exactly what I did for a living. I never showed up without a notebook and pen – or even my laptop – so that I could work while we waited. You’ll need this type of flexibility to survive as a work at home mom.

Get Assertive

Setting a schedule and goals will help keep you on track, but assertiveness is necessary to keep others on track. From neighbors who stop by to chat to your husband calling to ask you to run an errand, other people will fill your days with meeting their needs if you aren’t careful. While the occasional favor may be warranted, guarding your work time is essential to making sure you can focus and succeed.

These five principles won’t ensure your success, but they can get you in the frame of mind to work harder and smarter. Learn from the work at home moms before you and use these constants to guide your efforts.

By Brandi Rhoades

Work-at-Home Mom Guilt

Rachel — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:53:04 +0000

Being a work at home parent comes with its own special kind of guilt. You are physically there with your children but mentally you are somewhere else entirely. There are days when you work to the sound of cartoons running in the background all day and you worry that you are seriously damaging your children for life by not providing a more stimulating environment. Then, because you are preoccupied with worrying about your children you feel guilty for not being a more devoted employee.

When I quit my full time teaching job to work at home and be with my son during the day I had no idea what a steep learning curve I was in for. I neglected to realize that the main difference between working at home and working in an office is location. The work is still there, but you have the added task of keeping your children happily occupied at the same time.

As children get older and become more demanding of your time, they learn to employ the guilt tactic. 4 year olds are absolute masters of this. I always know when I have been focusing too much on my work when my 4 year old comes in with that look he has that melts your heart and makes you feel like the worst mom in the world at the same time and says “Mommy will you play with me. I’m not having any fun because you aren’t playing with me.”

Priorities get a little muffled when your work and your family are in the same place. There is no true end to the work day. You can’t just pack up and go home at the end of the day because you are already home. Since there always seems to be one more thing on your to-do list, work has a way of taunting you until you sit down and finish it. When you are trying to choose between finishing an important project and building a Lego tower it’s easy to get confused about which one is more important. The logical side of our brain tells us that work is always more important that play, but the pleading look of a child who just wants their mommy tells us which activity really has the most value.

Working at home is not without its perks. I have the best lunch companions that I could ask for. I get to be there as my children learn new things and watch them truly become friends with each other as they play during the day. My children get to be in their own home each day with their mommy close at hand if they need me. In the end, I am the one who gets to decide how I balance work and family. I get to be the one to choose whether or not I put in a few more minutes of work or build the Lego tower and I hope that down the road, my children will remember that I choose them, because they are the most important work in my life.