Is unsolicited advice preventing you from enjoying your pregnancy? Don’t let pushy family members or
When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I was thrilled. It didn’t take more than 5 minutes after announcing my pregnancy, though, for the unsolicited advice to start up.
As a young, first-time mom, I wanted the information. The advice quickly because very pushy (and slightly personal) and I found it causing me more anxiety during my pregnancy than reassurance.
By the end of my pregnancy, I was convinced splurging on a sandwich was going to give my child brain damage, using the name I had chosen was going to scar my child for life, and if I gained more than 5 pounds over the recommended weight guideline I was going to become morbidly obese.
As a mom of 6, I’m now more confident in my ability to find the information I need. During my last pregnancy, even though I was pregnant with twins, which was a new experience for me, I did a pretty good job shutting down any unwanted advice that came my way.
So how do you handle the unsolicited advice so you can enjoy your pregnancy?
Know where to find correct information. I found that a lot of the advice I received wasn’t accurate. That was confusing as a first time mom. Recommendations have changed over the years so advice from grandparents and older friends may not still be accurate today. The best advice I did receive during my first pregnancy was to read What to Expect When You’re Expecting®.
I read that book backwards and forwards. It gave me the information I needed to counter incorrect advice and let family and friends knew that I had things covered.
What to Expect® When You’re Expecting is now in a brand new 5th edition with a fresh perspective, up-to-the-minute information and advice, and the same friendly, reassuring voice that has made the book a bestseller for decades. I love they have incorporated Dad into the book and it still answers every imaginable question you may have as an expecting mom.
I really love that they’ve included updated nutrition information. They go into detail about the safety of superfoods (such as hemp, spirulina, or green powders) and discuss current eating trends such as a raw food diet, fermented foods, and Paleo meal plans.
In the new edition, the medical coverage is completely updates and includes everything you need to know about the Zika virus, which is a hot topic right now.
Ask for advice when needed. One of the best tricks I found for discouraging unsolicited advice was to ask for advice when needed. Most of the time people give advice because they care so giving them the chance to share what they know with you on a subject that you would like advice on lets them do that. This gives you the ability to choose a topic you are comfortable talking about and lets them know that you are interested in what they have to say so they aren’t offended when you shut them down on other subjects.
Change the subject. If you want to avoid any sort of confrontation, the easiest method is to simply change the subject when someone starts giving you unsolicited advice. Most of the time people will take the hint and it is a gentle way to let them know that you aren’t looking for advice at the moment.
Be consistent, but gentle. Do you have a few pushy people in your life? Sometimes people are determined to give advice, which can become progressively frustrating when you are already dealing with pregnancy hormones and aren’t feeling very patient. The trick for that is you need to be gentle but firm. Be consistent. If you state that you aren’t looking for advice at the moment then waver, they won’t take you seriously the next time you politely ask them to stop offering advice.
Pregnancy should be an enjoyable time, even if it comes with a few struggles. If unsolicited advice is zapping your joy, be proactive and work to create the changes you need in order to enjoy your pregnancy.
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I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.